Porped Tour 2009

Posted on Monday, August 03, 2009 by Rob

By Steve Ayers aka Stalker Steve

This is the guy who was very desperate for tickets. Porpe was happy to help
We brought photos from past Warped Tours. Jereme Knibbs wanted to know what to expect
Brian's brother, Wayne Schaefer, came along to help. He got the party going
Wizard Smoke, in his pro model shirt
These dudes swam across the channel to Vinoy Park to get in for free
Porpe saw a poster for a band called "Forever the Sickest Kids." He politely disagrees
This was the part of the day when the carnage started. Porpe let the first balloons fly and it was an all day thing from that point on
The lame emo band on the stage was the first band on and warmed up playing Iron Maiden riffs. I guess Porpe didn't like their rendition of it
Alex was ready to soak some fools
Porpe will try to high five anyone, including Security. This was after the water balloon assault
Early in the day foot traffic was a little slow so Wayne Schaefer turned on our own posse by soaking Alex and Kelly
Wayne Schaefer lets his stream loose on anyone, even the handi-capable
The first victims of the day at what was probably their first concert ever
I think pretty much all Schaefer’s are this friendly with the ladies
This girl was psyched on Porpe. I wonder how psyched she's going to be when she sees this on the website
This girl was getting so loose in the circle pit she almost clocked the singer
Jereme Knibbs – backside tailslide
Are you serious, guy?
Jereme floated these big backside ollies all day
Jereme Knibbs sailing a huge frontside boneless
Levi Combs rocking like a hurricane
Jereme Knibbs tucking the knee on a fs air
Jereme Knibbs - backside nosegrind
Jereme Knibbs getting steezy with a frontside crail-yanker
Early in the afternoon the SPoT stencil started getting brandished about
Some lovely tattooed girls came and helped us squirt people with water guns
Luckily Body renewed his Cougar Hunting License right before we shot this
Body, now homeless after his beloved Shaqueefa Mansion was condemned, started working on his homeless man hustle: Pay him a dollar and he’ll make fun of your girlfriend, boyfriend, or best friend for 30 seconds
The pit during The Bouncing Souls was intense
During the Bouncing Souls set it almost felt like a real punk show
This is officially the gnarliest dude at Warped Tour
Sierra and Alex running the stencil game. Some guy got Sierra's number on his back
The Queen of the tattooed girls ready to down the rest of her Yuengling and box out some aggression
The Brunette Bomber
Body doesn't want a good clean fight
Big Red took a nasty wallop early into the bout
I wonder what Big Red's POV is on this one?
No photo could show how hard Big Red was about to hit the Brunette Bomber
Check the Brunette's face. Holy cow!
At the end of the first round, Big Red was down but the Brunette Bomber was obviously winded
This is the point of the match when Big Red turned the tides and started beating the utter living $h*t out of the Brunette Bomber
I almost photo-shopped sound blurbs onto the Brunette's face like the old Batman shows. You know, like "Blam!" "Ka-Plow!" and "Boom!"
The Brunette's facial expression means she's about to go down. After the fight someone asked her if she felt okay and her only response was, "I have a headache"
As is the Skatepark of Tampa's tradition, a gigantic posse went out to Warped Tour to spray people with water guns, heckle, grill out, get dudes to box each other, and spray paint the Park's logo on bodily parts. And best of all, surprisingly enough, we didn't even get kicked out.

We got to SPoT at 7am to go to the Warped Tour in St Pete. It turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought. I'd like to think we made it fun. If that sounds a little egotistical to you, that's fine, but the 25 other people we had in our posse think the same thing anyway.

Brian Schaefer's brother, Big Wayne Schaefer, came along to be a Schaefer. By that I mean he came along, got the party going, and made sure everyone had a totally awesome time all day. I guess Schaefer's are just naturals at the party thing.

We were prepared for lots of carnage throughout the day. We brought boxing gloves, spray paint and stencils, and the aforementioned water guns and balloons. I was worried people would be upset and try to fight one of our crew members for squirting them with water guns. Turns out in 98 degree temperatures almost anyone really, really appreciated getting cooled off any way they could. It also turns out that 98% of Warped Tour attendants really love being spray painted. Be it with a stencil or Sierra's phone number, either is fine for them.

98% of the bands were awful. I mean absolutely terrible. The 2% that weren't horrible were absolutely awesome though. The Bouncing Souls put on an amazing stage show, even doing an acoustic cover of The Misfits' "Hybrid Moment.” I've never really checked out The Bouncing Souls, not for any particular reason, but I just never did. I think that's changed now though. The other 1% of amazing music was Bad Religion's show. It was great seeing guys that have been doing their thing for so long do it one more time.

However, the most curious show of all was 3OH!3's curious set. I'd like to take some of my allotted space and tell you my general feelings on 3OH!3. They played after Bad Religion (Warped Tour, are you serious?) and we wanted to stick around and see what all the hype was about. "One song with a catchy hook and now they're headlining Warped Tour?!" Body protested. Their show started with a recorded bit that was a booming hip-hop beat with hard drums and a deep, commanding voice saying something along the lines of "3OH!3 you know what it be!" That is weird enough, but these dudes are from Colorado, one of the whitest, un-hard places on God's Green Earth. They have a rapper/keyboard player who bears a shocking resemblance to Jon Newport. Their drummer looks just enough like Vincent Alvarez for me to write it here, and I'm sure the other two dudes look like some other skaters somewhere. Pulsating beats and catchy hooks are their forte, and they run with it. Everyone in the crowd, except for us, was totally into it, and me pumping my fists around and Porpe pushing Jereme into people trying to get a pit going, while we thought it was hilarious, pretty much bummed out all the 15-year-old girls and their boyfriends there. However, I will say, if you're a teenage dude (under 18) then definitely go to the next 3OH!3 show. You can see hordes of giddy 15-year-old girls.

Go for it young dudes. Stay out of that scene, grown dudes.

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