Zaturdays: Old and Tired Article at Skatepark of Tampa

Zaturdays: Old and Tired

Posted on Saturday, February 21, 2015 by Paul

Photos by #KKRFhoto

Nobody really likes old people. We blew it by not adopting the traditions of those cultures that respect their elders and cherish their wisdom. We’re all about being cool, and what’s cool about being old? Nothing. Nevertheless, there have never been so many old skateboarders. And unless something drastically alters the course of human kind, like an asteroid smashing earth, there will be even more old skateboarders tomorrow, and even more the day after that. Old skateboarders, the ultimate in dystopian futures, are here to stay.
Old man Duffy, takin’ her easy.

It’s been said that 30 is the new 20. 40 the new 30 etc. But let’s be real, just because 40 year olds have lots of tattoos and spend their free time Instagramming, all it proves is that tattoos are popular and that its easier to Instagram than to take a really bad slam. The old thing is catching on though, kind of, and in a trying-to-capitalize-on-an-inevitable-trend type of move, companies like Tired cater to the elderly specifically. I’d like to see their sales numbers among younger skaters though to prove just how dimly the concept of oldness is still viewed.

Lance Conklin, not about to try any flip tricks.

I know though, “old” is totally relative, but it’s still pretty cut and dry: anyone younger than me isn’t all that old. Anyone older than me is old. It’s always been that way. When I was 16, skaters that were 17 and 18 were old and the 23 and over crowd were dinosaurs.
Time for a group photo!

I’m 42 now. Over the last week I went on a skate mission in the SPoT van with 11 other geriatric skate bros. Schaefer was one of them, he’s 44, super old. Mike Frazier and Lance Conklin came as well. You might have seen our exploits on Instagram haha. But here’s what quickly became apparent. Generally speaking, none of these people have changed since they were 20. Probably since they were 10. They all have the same sense of humor, the same outlook, the same way of interacting with each other as they did back when.
Frazier and Schaefer, Gramming.

The main differences in all these golden oldies are all physical. Without fail they’re either a) balding, graying, or both, b) packing on the pounds c) increasingly crippled d) mad wrinkly or e) working on a beard. In terms of skating, everyone is too busy and has too many responsibilities to get on the board as much as they’d like, so when they do they’re struggling to make tricks that used to be easy. And the idea of getting seriously injured sounds less and less appealing all the time, which makes really ripping even tougher. The result? Frontside grinds, lots and lots of frontside grinds. It’s the most fun in the world though, a reminder of why you started skating in the first place and wanted to keep learning. “If a frontside grind feels this good, imagine doing a varial heel to crook!” Now it’s only fun to try the hard stuff like one time, with almost no intention of landing any of it. “I tried bros, I tried.”
Chris -FS Grind
Jerry - FS Grind
Leonard - FS Grind
Schaefer - FS Grind
Frazier - FS Grind
Tito - FS Grind
Kyle - FS Grind

Back to my point. Being old is not only uncool, but it hurts and makes skateboarding really hard. And you know how they say it beats the alternative, meaning it’s better to be old than dead, I’m not always so sure about that. If you’re like me though, still alive and getting older every minute, the least you can do is make the most of it and keep trying to shred, just make sure to stretch first and take frequent breaks to Gram group selfies.
Another group photo!
One more! For old times sake.

- Paul Zitzer

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