Girl Skateboards Press Release
March 5, 2005
Remember when Molly Ringwald was on the Facts of Life? Sweet Jesus was she hot!
I couldn't wait to until after I skated to catch the re-runs on Nick at Nite. So, one
minute Mrs. Garret is taking care of about 20 girls, and the next thing you know its
down to four. What the f--k was that all about? I was so bummed that I refused to
watch it for weeks. Sure, everyone associates the show with Blair, Jo, Natalie, and Tootie,
and Mrs. Garrett was still there, but where was Molly? I'll tell you where, she was off
gallivanting with John f--king Hughes while I was forced to listen to Jo and Blair bitch
at each other, or Tootie and Natalie squawk about roller skates and peer pressure.
I wondered "Why Molly? How could you do this to me? After I stayed faithful to you
when I could have had any ho in my fourth grade class!" I guess I felt a little betrayed.
A year later my neighbor, Shane, rented Pretty in Pink and The Breakfast Club. The
shock from Molly's television departure had worn off a little bit and I was finally ready
to see what she had been up to. Within the first five minutes of Pretty in Pink, all those
feelings of betrayal vanished, replaced by a deep understanding of what growing up
is all about. She was no longer a supporting character, she had transformed into a
generational muse; inspiring a deep love for pink outfits and loveable losers among
all children of the 80's. She had no personal grudge against me or the fine cast of
The Facts of Life, it was just her time to leave television and follow her own path
towards stardom. Plus, in a couple of years, a young Alyssa Milano would become
ridiculously hot and erase all memory of what's-her-name.
It is with this parable of understanding that we announce Paul Rodriguez's
departure from Girl. While we're sad to see you go, we understand the road you
have to travel. And although we are forced to listen to Mike and Rick bitch
at each other, and Gavin and Bird squawk about wakeboards and peer pressure;
we're going to make it through just fine.
— the Girl Skateboard Company, Inc.
(written by Chris Mote, winner of the Crailtap Write a Press Release Contest, now100 boards richer)