Words by ATMurrell

First off, this is NOT a real Zero video. It is a local video from Levitown, Pennsylvania, which is Chris Cole’s home town. So if you picked this video expecting top notch skating from the Zero team, you will be sorely disappointed. If you picked this up to see a bunch of guys having fun on their skateboards, you will love this video. The line-up is: Horn, Beck, Bill Sands Hossman, Teemo, Ian Berry, Whitey, and Chris Cole. It’s fun to watch, since you can tell everyone’s having a lot of fun. But, to be honest, all of it basically blends together - even Chris Cole’s stuff. Just what you would expect from a local video. Fun to watch, though!

When I got this video, I had very low expectations for it. I seriously thought it was going to be complete crap. So, when I'm watching it, and get pumped to go skate after watching some parts (mainly the ones who wear pants allowing them to feel their legs), I knew I seriously underestimated this video. There still are some bad points - the filming could be a lot better, and I noticed a lot of footage taken from other video parts, or friend sections - but there still is a lot of originality in this vid. Here's the lineup:

Brian "Slash" Hansen - This guy seriously needs to work on his style, and also realize how retarded he looks in his sister's jeans. He has some OK stuff in his part, though - that BS smith down the huge hubba was sick. However, I noticed him doing a lot of tricks that had already been done at a certain spot, which fits into that 'reusing footy' category, which I do NOT like.

Shuriken Shannon - It looks like Shuriken puts a little more emphasis on his style, and wants to make his footy enjoyable to watch. He's got a lot of good stuff - nollie feebs a handrail, half cab flip a stair/sidewalk gap, and an FS crooks BS biggie in on those hips in SF. MAJOR highlight of the video.

Sammy Baca - C'mon Sammy! You couldn't pick a better AC/CD song than "Rockers?!" There are so many AC/DC songs that would be better to skate to! Anyways, lots of airwalks in this part, and a decent amount of tranny skating. He does this one line at 3 Up 3 Down that you have to see. But Sammy, if your gonna do grind/grabs, dont grab at the end of the rail! Grab the board when your ollieing up to the rail, or else you will get no respect.

Lizard King - One of the only skaters who can get away with weraing shorts. He also has my personal favorite part. He has lots of originality in his skating. Some of my favorite tricks were the 50/50 FS 180 fastplant out on those church steps, and the feeble stall on the bank to wall in LA. Lots of one footers, too. He also skates to Minor Threat. Fun to watch.

Random Pig Stuff

Charlie Castelluzzo - Damn, Charlie! How’d you get that wound in the beginning of your part! I guess it didn't hurt him too much, 'cause his part is sick. Arguably the best style on the team. Some stuff to watch for are the switch BS 180 the big 6, and the switch FS heel over the dirt gap. Again, great style.

Adrian Mallory - One of the only tight pants ams I can stand watching. This part is better than his 88 part, in my opinion. He needs to go pro soon, and this part backs me up. Check out the no comply FS tail at the SF Hips and the nose manny hippie jump at the chain to bank spot. Dont sleep on this kid.

Anthony Ragdoll Scalamere - There were a lot of things I liked and a lot of things I didnt like about this part. I'm not going to mention each and every detail, but what I liked was his originality, his wallrides and firecrackers, and the fact you can see he's having fun. What I didn't like was his style, his fashion flair, the reusing of AVE's song from PHOTOSYNTHESIS, and seeing his buttcrack after he lands half of his tricks. It has a lot of good stuff, but the bad stuff just eclipsed the good stuff.

Overall, Slaughterhouse is a pretty decent movie. I'd buy it if your really into handrail skating in your sister's jeans. Otherwise, I wouldnt be breaking your piggy bank for it. (I make a funny, no?)