How Christopher Columbus Pulled a Fast One on the Spear Chuckers

Posted on Thursday, February 21, 2008 by Rob

By Rob Meronek

Way back in 1504, Christopher Columbus was stranded with his homies off the coast of Jamaica. They were running out of food and getting desperate. The local spear chuckers were pissed and refusing to provide them with any more supplies and food. Captain America had this astronomical almanac he got from his German math geek friend. It indicated that a lunar eclipse was going down on February 29, 1504. So, Columbus called a meeting with the far less knowledgeable spear chuckers and told them that if they didn't give him food and supplies, he'd make the moon disappear. Of course, it came true on February 29 and the terrified natives begged him to bring back the moon, which he did, in return for as much food as he needed for his men. He and his crew were then rescued on June 29, 1504. If it was a cloudy night like tonight in Tampa, Columbus would have been stressing out pretty bad. Luckily, the clouds went away for a few hours
Right around 9:15 or so, the Earth's shadow started to cover up the moon. Imagine how at this point the spear chuckers would have been tripping balls and handing over all the food in their arsenal to Captain America
Hey spear chucker, I'll take a turkey sandwich with lettuce and cheese, American of course. Hold the mustard and tomato
If there wasn't so much light coming from downtown, you could see Saturn and the star Regulus on each side of the moon a little better. It's hard to take space geek photos
Shortly after this, the clouds came in and the show was over. I believe that's Saturn on the bottom and Regulus on the top. If I was Columbus, I would have told the spear chuckers that those are my snipers watching their every move
If you haven't been downtown lately, they're about half way through ripping down the Tampa Museum of Art
I can watch the whole thing from my bedroom window. I can also hear you skateboarding downtown at TECO. Maybe I should be doing that, too