The Lifetime Stages of Skateboarder Attitude

By Rob Meronek

I'm sure most of you are not my age or 25+ years into skating like I am, so let me break down the lifetime stages of skateboarder attitude for you.

• Stage One: You discover skateboarding. Everything's cool to you. You love everything and everyone from 1080's to Fuel TV to mainstream music.
• Stage Two: You've been skating a couple years and you discover the wack things. Fuel TV, wack. 1080's, kooky. "Sell out" and possibly even "poser" become part of your regular vocabulary, more so when using internet messageboards. The foundations for your passionate musical views are being laid.
• Stage Three: You're skating five to 10 years at this point and have strong opinions about everything from skateboard brands to trick selection, and especially music. Anything not skateboarding or biting off skateboarding such as snowboarding or surfing or wakeboarding, is for busters. Who cares who came first, if it's not skateboarding, it's the worst.
• Stage Four: You may be in your mid to late 20's at this point and your attitude from earlier stages has mellowed. Maybe you found snowboarding and shrug your shoulders and say, "It's alright, I guess." Maybe you figure blunt nosegrabs aren't so bad after all since your kid loves them. You will always think Fuel TV cagefighting is wack, though.
• Stage Five: You're just happy to still be rolling. Job, mortgage, spouse, kids, maybe a mid-life crisis motorcycle, a cruiser board, and too much transition skating are all your world. You warm up to those skateboarding side shows like wakeboarding and surfing. You can see yourself having a beer and some laughs at that sort of shindig.
• Stage Six: You're like skateboarding's cat lady. You love skateboarding too much, and as a virtual grandparent, it's the only way you have to relive your Stage Two life. You spit too much skateboard history at the kids, wax poetic about how awesome it was back in the day, and laugh at current trends with your dad jeans on and Fuel TV in the background. At least you're generally happy. Maybe skateboarding did in fact "save your life." What if your Stage Two was nothing but smoking pot and hanging with lame girlfriends? Thanks again, skateboarding.

What stage are you at? I think I'm a mixure of all stages. However, I will see you having a beer at the Red Bull Wake Open. Woo!