Zaturdays: The Skate School of Hard Knocks

P-Rod. Theotis. Dylan. Alex Olson. Hosoi. Gonz. These are skaters that I’m going to refer to here as Easy Money. Sponsors’ dream type dudes who can do no wrong. I should add however that it’s not that these guys didn’t have to work for it or don’t deserve it, for the most part I’m assuming they worked as hard as anyone, and in fact they probably deserve it more so than most, and that’s exactly the point. These are the dudes that move product because we other dudes want to be like them and thus buy their product. P-rod with his lustrous hair and polished veneer. Theotis, radiating all of that happiness though a 24k smile. Alex Olson, hunk, weird enough to keep us intrigued, barely even needs to skate. Hosoi, best style of the 80s, made us wish we had it like that. Gonz, entertaining, inspiring, and surprising us with every endeavor. The Easy Money have sponsors lining up to pay them, and their skate career trajectories generally go up and up at a steady clip for years and can be sustained for as long as they’re willing to put in some effort. I’d say there might be as few as 20 or 30 of these rare creatures on the scene at any given time. Then…there’s everybody else. 10s, 100s, 1000s of skaters that might have the tricks to be counted among the ranks of professional skateboarders but that are missing that one (maybe more) thing that could make them Easy Money pros. Could be a quirk in their style. Maybe they’re shaped weird (no neck, squatty torso, thick forearms). Or it could be a personality trait that does them in. Most of the time it’s nothing really in specific, it’s just…they’re not Easy Money. Either way, if any of these people want to ever turn pro they have to come up through the school of Hard Knocks. There are hundreds of graduates out there. Jamie Thomas is a great example of a Hard Knocks grad who went on to huge success. He made his way out west from Alabama to live the dream, but before he broke through he was shunned by people he looked up to, he had to sleep on the streets, and represent companies that weren’t taken seriously. What was his failing? Who knows, maybe he tried too hard, had the wrong accent, said the wrong thing once to the wrong person. But thanks to an insane work ethic, paired with a solid grasp on what good marketing entails, Jamie helped turn the tide and embark on an unparalleled career. And while yes he got paid in the end, he was never Easy Money. The difficulty in trying to come up via the Hard Knocks school is two-fold. First there’s the aforementioned “problem” with who you are as a human. But then, adding insult to insult, because you’re not Easy Money you inevitably fail to attract the interest of the big brands with the marketing power to mold you into a contender. Why struggle with you when they can cruise to success with Easy Money? So instead, you’ll end up representing companies that don’t have any money, that haven’t figured out marketing, and that have failed to generate the attention that you as a Hard Knock skater so desperately need to prove that you’re worthy of a second look. Total Catch 22. So what does it take to break the cycle? Good fortune, dumb luck, a miracle? Yes, pretty much. In Jamie’s case it was Ed Templeton handing him the controls at Toy Machine and letting him run wild. There’s a good chance that Jamie would have succeeded in some other way had this not been the case. There’s also a good chance he wouldn’t have.