Words by Rob Meronek

As you can see by the chatter on our Twitter page, we were all at a strip club at 6am this morning before work. It was a charity event called Toys for Tits where you drop off toys and get gratified by the strippers that work at the club. The toys somehow end up in the hands of needy kids at Christmas. We piled toys and dudes in the Clem-350 and Stalker Steve and I shot these photos. I prefer the word "boobies" because it conveys the sense of excitement and child-like awe we dudes feel at the very mention of the body part. Type 5318008 in a calculator, flip it over, and see what you get. Boobies! What an awesome word. What's the equivalent for girls? Weenies? Toys for Weenies sounds super creepy. We'll skip that one.

Stalker Steve's Photos and Captions Frosty is a beer in the morning kinda' guy; Clem is a coffee kinda' guy. Toys for Tits crew gearing up. The idea was to bring a toy and then leave a few dollars on your dash for the dancers. We improved on that by taping bills all over the cab. Schaefer was going crazy, in the best way possible. And Frosty didn't care if it was 6am or not...he was drinking. Rob and I ended up documenting each other, as usual. The dancers piled in and cleaned out the bills in a matter of 30 seconds. Schaefer was Tweeting and preparing to be ravaged for dollars. Fist full of dollars, in and out of the Clem 350. Frosty, surveying the landscape. Gissal was having an awesome time. Sugar daddy Schaefer was making all kinds of new friends. Judging by her facial expression, Schaefer made a pretty smooth remark. All the girls were friendly, especially with each other.

Meronek's Photos and Captions When I saw a few boxes of these show up at Innetech, I thought something went horribly wrong in our Shop buying process. Turns out they were just promotional items the company sent us. We put them to good use. Deck the halls. Schaefer had more 6am energy than all these strippers combined. Everyone who rolls up gets filmed for the live webcast they were doing. You have to sign a waiver before entering the boobie kingdom. Once we're in, the tarp on the tent goes down and the crusty chicks come in for toys and bills. She sorta looks like Ryan Sheckler - in 10 years. This is Vince who works in the Shop. When your day starts out like this at 6am, unfortunately, there's nowhere for it to go but downhill. The whole thing goes down inside this tent set up in front of 2001. There was not a single vehicle in the long line of cars that was a non-4x4. I spy a court jester. That girl used her grandma's bingo stamper on her eyes. Thanks for the shirts. The sun isn't even up and Frosty is already deep in the sauce. Now it's time to get to work.